Grief. What is grief and what does it all involve. Many are taught by society as death alone. But that is false. Grief is not about death alone. In fact, there are 43 different types of grief. Yes, you heard right.
In the book by John James and Russell Friedman, " Grief Recovery Handbook,"
"Incomplete recovery from grief can have a lifelong negative effect on the capacity for happiness. Drawing from their own histories as well as from others’, the authors illustrate how it is possible to recovery from grief and regain energy and spontaneity. Based on a proven program, The Grief Recovery offers grievers the specific actions needed to move beyond loss.
Here are the few of the 43 types, not including in the list, weddings & graduations:
Grief is the natural human reaction to loss. Though everyone grieves differently, it is important to admit that you are grieving. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist, described five stages of grief in her book On Death and Dying, which have been "developed into a framework for navigating the grieving process." While the Five Stages of Grief™—denial, acceptance, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are important to know in normalizing loss, grief is a very nonlinear process and can impact everyone differently.
Wikipedia really helped to understand grief. Its a great article to read. I wanted to share a few things from there that may be helpful to you, but would suggest you read the whole article.
"Grief is the response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, while grief is the reaction to that loss.
The grief associated with death is familiar to most people, but individuals grieve in connection with a variety of losses throughout their lives, such as unemployment, ill health or the end of a relationship.
Loss can be classify either physical or abstract; physical loss is related to something that the individual can touch or measure—such as losing a spouse through death—while other types of loss are more abstract, possibly relating to aspects of a person's social interactions."
This clearly helps us to understand that grief is not about death alone, it did discuss how normal things in life that we least expect to happen to us is not only part of the 43 types of grief, but that it is an emotional loss- it is grief. We just don't think of it as grief because that is how society took it and changed the thinking about it.
So how do we deal with grief and what can help us find joy while still grieving for our love one.
First off, be open about your feelings. God has blessed us with this gift of feeling. Just as your tears are a language, they also help cleanse the soul.
Next, reframe the way you think. Sometimes our thoughts get stuck in a pattern that we have the fear of steering back even to our new normal. Place your thoughts in a new picture frame. Express your words differently and positively. I know easier said than done, but it is possible. You are just changing the pattern of your thoughts and feelings.
Another blessing and gift is to focus on your core values. The negative thoughts may think you don't love your self anymore or that you rather be dead. Is that truly how your value yourself. I don't think so. You are blessed far more than you think. But when you love yourself, even through your grief, it uplifts, encourages you and you begin to value who you are and how God created you.
The last is to seek help if you feel you need it. Don't put it off. Sometimes our underlying issues actually helps us through our grief. Talk to someone you trust or talk to a professional therapist or coach. We are here to help you through this and bring you comfort...& joy.
Learn more about the 43 types of Grief on our Podcast and/or Education & Training pages.